


hurts like hell

by starryeyed (kaylie153)



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Hopeful Ending, Hopeful Ending, Jaemin appears at the end, M/M, Mark Lee (NCT)-centric, Sad Mark Lee (NCT), Sexual Content, Sorry Not Sorry, baby won’t always be sad, but it’s not too descriptive, hyuckil endgame
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-20
Updated: 2020-09-20
Packaged: 2021-03-08 01:35:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,372
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26557471
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kaylie153/pseuds/starryeyed
Summary: Mark knew things had started turning serious when Hyuck started turning down invites and wouldn’t let him mark his skin at all anymore. And Hyuck stopped calling out his name. And when Mark found a hickey on the base of Hyuck’s spine, he knew it was only a matter of time before—“We should stop this, Marky.”(or, Mark watches the boy he loves fall in love with someone else)
Relationships: Lee Donghyuck | Haechan/Mark Lee, Lee Donghyuck | Haechan/Moon Taeil
Comments: 8
Kudos: 82





	hurts like hell

**Author's Note:**

> Reposting from my twt

Mark has heard all the warnings before. He wasn’t stupid, he knew what he was getting himself into. But, he wasn’t  really  to blame. Donghyuck was pretty, even when he was crying so hard snot ran down his face and his eyes were bloodshot. He was funny and sweet and, fuck,  Mark had been in love with him since he was 15 years old and had realized the only hand he ever wanted to hold forever was Hyuck’s.

So no, he wasn’t to blame for falling into bed that fateful evening with Lee Donghyuck. And he wasn’t to blame for continuing to let him sneak into his bed, or into his arms, or down Hyuck’s throat over the course of the last 6 months. He couldn’t resist, cause Hyuck was so pretty and pliant and when he came he sobbed  Mark ’s name like it was the only word he knew. 

However, it was  Mark ’s fault that he never confessed. He wouldn’t be in this situation if he had. This situation being:

Watching Hyuck fall in love with someone else. 

-

Moon Taeil is the TA in  Mark ’s music production course. He’s handsome and worldly, sweet and clever... everything Hyuck loves. Hell, everything any breathing human would love. His laugh is contagious and he’s so intelligent. Sometimes  Mark wonders if he too has a crush on Taeil. 

Donghyuck picks him up from class on a Thursday with plans to study at the library and fall into  Mark ’s bed after they pass a practice exam. He sports a hickey from the weekend before, yellow and faded, but still prominent on the spot right under his ear. His hair isn’t  quite  long enough yet to cover it. He bounds up to  Mark , a big smile on his face, and for a moment  Mark thinks he should lean in and kiss him. But then Taeil strolls out of the lecture hall, right up to  Mark to discuss his latest assignment, and  Mark sees it. 

The instant Donghyuck lays eyes on Moon Taeil,  Mark  knows whatever they started six months ago… is over. 

-

Hyuck insists on picking  Mark up from that class every time he attends. He still has hickeys from  Mark , but now they’re hidden under the collar of his shirt, so Taeil can’t see them. He still crawls into  Mark ’s bed and holds his hand when he comes, but now he  cheerfully  giggles anytime Taeil texts him. Even right after sex when  Mark was just putting on clothes and grabbing a big sweatshirt for Hyuck to wear for the night. 

Often he thinks he should just do it. Tell him. Tell his best friend in the entire world that he’s been in love with him for going on 5 years, but  instead,  he basks in what he’s  given . 

Which is every other night and moans and declarations of fondness and watching Netflix while cuddling. Kissing before they go to sleep. Pretending until the sun comes up and Hyuck rises with it and before he leaves to go meet Taeil for breakfast. 

-

Donghyuck has never been subtle with love. Not through either of the  very short term boyfriends he had had, and  definitely  not with Taeil. 

Mark knew things had started turning serious when Hyuck started turning down invites and wouldn’t let him mark his skin at all anymore. And Hyuck stopped calling out his name. And when Mark found a hickey on the base of Hyuck’s spine, he knew it was only a matter of time before—

“We should stop this, Marky.”

He  isn’t surprised .  Of course he isn’t. But he still widens his eyes and lets the blanket slide off his shoulders to pool behind him. Hyuck is naked and flushed, eyes still glazed over, and breaths puffing out all cute and labored. 

“What?”

Donghyuck giggles at him and sits up, reaching out to stroke down  Mark ’s chest. “Taeil wants to become official. And I do too. It also means we’re gonna be exclusive.” Hyuck’s words should shrink him, turn him soft, but he’s still running his fingers over Mark’s abdomen and  he  can’t  really  focus on his heart breaking cause those fingers wrap around him. 

“Does he know?”

“Hm?”

Mark swallows. He twitches in Hyuck’s hot, tight grip. “Does Taeil know about us?”

“Yeah.” Hyuck hums and moves closer, mouth pretty and parted and pink. “He doesn’t  really  care. Well, he didn’t, but now that we’re all serious and stuff,” he giggles again, breath fanning onto the lower part of  Mark ’s stomach, “we decided it needed to end.”

Mark chokes. He doesn’t know if it’s cause of the words the love of his life is muttering, or if it’s because of the sudden warmth and wetness surrounding him. 

“That’s okay, right? You’re okay with me and Taeil?”

Mark looks down at him. Its the first time Hyuck has ever asked something like that. About  Mark ’s opinion on his relationships.  Maybe cause he knew Taeil personally .  Maybe because they had fallen into bed together and things are different.  Maybe ... maybe because Hyuck wants him to say no. 

But he can’t. Taeil is a good man. He’s  good to Donghyuck, he makes him laugh, makes him smile, and he’d only ever made Hyuck cry once since they started talking and it had been a misunderstanding. Mark cant tell Hyuck no because he loves him and he wants him to  be happy . And Moon Taeil is who makes him happy. 

“ Of course it is. You’ll be good together.”

Hyuck smiles up at him  beautifully  and  Mark feels his heart sink  even more,  break some more, and he asks himself again why he was so stupid to fall in love with someone so incredibly wonderful. 

-

It’s three months later, he’s in a crowded diner, Donghyuck across the table from him, eating from a plate of fries. Hed asked Mark why he hadn’t ordered yet, but Mark explained he’s waiting to eat with another friend later. Hyuck rambles on about the weekend away with Taeil coming up. His parents have met him through Skype and he’s thinking he’ll bring him home during the holidays too. 

Mark has set boundaries. Taeil smiles  appreciatively  when  Mark turns down invites. He wonders if Taeil knew. He thinks he can’t have been subtle, just like Hyuck had never been so. 

Hyuck tells him they’re celebrating their three month anniversary and he’s overjoyed to get some time away to just themselves. He tells  Mark that he thinks Taeil is it, “the one.” Mark laughs and calls him crazy, but he smiles fondly . At least Hyuck  is happy . 

When Donghyuck leaves to run errands, Mark is left alone again. 

A few months isn’t a long time.  Especially  not enough time to get over someone you’ve been in love with for so long. A quarter of his life almost. But spending less time with him is making things easier. 

And when the pink-haired boy from his study group slides into the booth across from him, with his perfect smile and charming persona,  Mark feels it become a  tiny  bit easier. The burden doesn’t seem as overwhelming, and he thinks he might have a chance of getting over Hyuck. 

“You haven’t ordered yet?”

Mark shakes his head, smiling. “Nah, I wanted to wait for you.”

“Aww,  Mark . Be careful or I’ll think you have a crush on me.”

He blushes but shakes his head. “Hyuck just left. He ate and I may have stolen a few of his fries.”

Jaemin rolls his eyes, a laugh leaving his full lips. “I’ll just have to steal some of yours as revenge for Donghyuck.”

The laugh he lets out is too loud, but his table partner’s eyes scrunch up from smiling so big. “I’m sure he’d appreciate that.”

“Well,” he says, pursing his lips. “It’s more for me anyway.”

Mark had heard the warnings, he knew falling in love with his best friend hadn’t been the smartest thing he’d ever done. But he figures he wasn’t too selfish. He let Hyuck go, let him  be happy with someone who loved him just as fiercely . And looking at the boy across him, he thinks he’ll get the chance to fall in love again. 

**Author's Note:**

> [twitter](https://twitter.com/kayliesarchive)


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